Office Humor Collectors Pillows

"We've hiked associate pay substantially, and we will of course need something in return..."

National Belly Button Society: Innies and Outies.

"I'll do anything, up to, but not including, communicating with you, to make you feel better."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

Gay Times...

"And you can rest assured that your problem is being ignored at the very highest levels."

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

Friday

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

Dog's In Tray and Out Tray

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"You calm down."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Looks like our days at the think tank are numbered."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'