Office Grapevine Enthusiast Gifts

"The coffee machines weren't working! The computers weren't working! The employees weren't working!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And where have you previously moused?"

Lemonade Inc.

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

Busy office.

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'