Office Gossip Enthusiast Gifts

'Put this memo in an envelope marked 'Confidential'. Drop it on the floor in the hall. Make sure you do not seal the envelope. That way, we can be sure all employees will read the memo.'

"I've had enough reports for one day. Bring me some gossip."

"I know this is just my humble opinion, but it's backed by the most comprehensive rumor, gossip and speculation this office can provide!"

"I'd just like to know how these crazy rumors get started."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"I want everyone to know about this - whisper it to Miss Tonks in Accounts."

'People are beginning to talk. I told you the love seat was a bad idea.'

Water cooler with woman standing beside it, under a sign stating 'Signing for the hard of hearing.'

'Steer clear of the boss. She's handing out pink slips.'

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Oh, we communicate VERY freely in this office. I hear everyone's health, marriage, and money problems.

"Uh oh... Something tells me my blog has been discovered."

'I heard rumours you're outsourcing my job to India.'

"Jim, you need to stop prying into our business."

'Another of his demonstrations of the firm's friendly, informal atmosphere?'

A big announcement is coming at work.

"Today on wall street, advances led declines...but that was just office romances."

'He arrives before and leaves after everyone else...probably homeless.'

"Of course, I'm not suggesting that you should also bail."

'Sorry, I thought I was muttering behind someone elses back.'

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

'I've made a terrible mistake, Brian - The girls at work said he was great in bed, but he's just as useless as you!'

'I heard a rumor the boss may hand out holiday bonuses this year.'

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

"He's had more success in the rat race than the human race."

Sex at the office.

Two workers chatting by vending machine: 'Who are you working on at the moment?'

'Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Mayfield. I'm very partial to stoolies.'

"Isn't her boyfriend the one who sells us office supplies?"

'They let Reynolds go. Apparently, he was paying more attention to his clients' knees than needs.'

'You're going to be sacked? What time? I want to be there!'

"Well, did you get the raise you asked for or were you fired?"

"I've heard Musgrave in accounts has been sacked. A real bad egg apparently."

"Bob's been drinking more than just the Kool-Aid lately."

"Welcome back. You didn't miss much while you were off, besides a bit of speculation about what kind of outpatient procedure you had."