Office Banter Enthusiast Gifts

"We have ways of making you small-talk."

It was like he could read my mind.

"It wasn't an easy decision to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it."

"Before we start. Can I empower you to pour the coffee?"

"I never believe office gossip unless it's backed by some substantial rumors."

'You're not fooling anyone, Foster. We all know that the only thing you carry around in that briefcase, is your lunch.'

"I'd love to join you in saying horrible things about men, but I used to be one myself."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

'Hey! I said 'You've got mail!'.'

"Can't we talk this over?"

'I'm sorry, but I don't talk about anything other than football.'

"Well, Brown, according to the company profit sharing scheme..."

'I found a new way to the office through Syria.'

"You've heard about death and taxes, they become inheritance tax."

'That's four coffees and all with cream , of course'.

'Can you work without supervision?' 'I'd love to TRY!'

'Am I boring you?'

"I wasn't looking for love, but the water cooler really understands my needs."

"This is cool. We usually don't get the chance to walk home together after work."

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."

"Yes, here's your appointment, Mr. Baker. Sims vs. Baker, ten a.m."

'Have a great day, but not at my expense.'

'Listen, Jimmy...When I said I'll see you first thing in the morning, that was simply a figure of speech.'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Her CV wasn't the only thing that was padded.'

"Never be afraid to take me into your confidence, Sally, I'm very partial to stoolies."

'If looks could sue, eh, Walt?'

'Seems like everyday is bring your work to work day.'

'This has to be in Des Moines by Friday.', 'Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?'

'After reviewing your job performance...'

'You have to come here in person. They're always too busy to answer the phone.'

'Honestly, you really would think he'd know better!'

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

Trans Communications Limited: 'I didn't want coffee, clothears, I distinctly asked for tea and a bag of crisps.'

'We'll miss her wit, her insight, her sparkle ... anyway, she'll be back from vacation tomorrow.'