Office Banter Buddy Gifts

"That's the problem - there aren't enough happy hours in the world today."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

"We need volunteers for the car chasing fundraiser."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"I hear you may do a baby."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

'It's signed by the entire office. You're not too popular areound here, are you?'

"Did you read this report? The average member of staff takes 19 minutes for lunch!"

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'In a sentence or two, Gibbs.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'A word in my office Jones.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"I propose we build a panic room."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

'Always the wise guy.'

"This is Harold. Harold is part of nature's food chain."

'Have you met my vice-presidents?'

'Just because I'm Overpaid doesn't mean You're Underpaid.'