Office Gadget Fan Pillows

'Very impressive resume... new printer?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

"I don't dress for work till I'm actually working."

'It's probably not a good sign to be listed in the organization chart underneath the office plants.'

Tuppermalware

"I'll be working remotely today."

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'Excuse me sir, how do you feel about artificial intelligence?'

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"How do I turn Alexa off?"

'Welcome aboard, Gridley ? this will be your desk.'

"She has to find just the right spot."

'I know junk e-mail is everywhere but spam on toast?'

Rubik's Cubicle

'And then, after soccer practice, we stopped at crazy Al's Big Screen TV Store!'

Remote Toaster

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

Solar powered sunbed.

"It's nice, but not quite the electric car I was hoping for."

Silhouettes

Pizza. I found the remote but now I can't find the TV.

Something keeps shorting out my bug zapper. Maybe it's lightning bugs!

Microphone Feedback

"When did the flies around here start getting tiny little airbags?"

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

I'll trade you my phone for a latte. Pardon? You'll love it. It's vintage. A collector's item. It's from 1998. I bought it from a really old man in a magic shop last year. No deal. Come on! It's not like the shop vanished as soon as I left it. And it's not like I keep getting mysterious late-night calls on it from people in 1998 who keep telling me jokes I've already heard a million times. And it's not like the magic shop man told me I can only get rid of the phone by selling it or trading it. R

If they can put a man on the moon, then why can't they... manufacture ice cube trays that allow for easy removal of the cubes!?

"Can I see some I.D. - not that security doesn't already have you pegged."

'Now that's what I call a guard dog.'

'I give it three, maybe four innings before the other team complains and we get a call from the commissioner.'

'It's like a regular pair of pants, but they have asbestos pockets so money won't burn a hole in them.'

"The boss truly has an open door policy."