Office Executives Gifts

'I won't say you're fired. Let's just say maintaining your employment status is not consistent with our long-term institutional objectives.'

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Businesswoman Empowerment

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."