Odds Analyzer Gifts

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'It's not what you think Dad, we've been to the races.'

election polling

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

'One more thing - find out if the new Securities and Exchange Commission head grants group amnesty.'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

Match-fixing (cricket)

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

"The match fixers are making it a bit obvious."

'There's a horse in the next race called 'Taxman' - he MUST win!'

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

"It was messed up. Everybody was wearing masks", "Hmmm." / "It was messed up. Nobody was wearing masks.", "Hmmm."

Gambler's Anonymous - "What are the odds on my recovery?"

Probability: 10,000-1, 150-1, 6-1, 2-5, 1-20, 50-1, 10,000-1.

'His horse came in at 100 to 1 - last!'

Game Of Chance and Game of Skill.

Men betting on whether a gambling commission will work.

Hare and the tortoise race odds.

He's the type that gives racing a bad name!