Odds Appreciator Gifts

Risk assessment offered to punters.

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Dept of Probability: Maybe, Possibly, Perhaps.

"I speak Latin, you know."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

Fish mobsters.

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

Plays well with other people's $.

Mathematician on the couch.

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

'You've become unbearable since you started working in that betting shop!'

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

"Regarding my art collection, I know what I like."

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

"Recently, Ludwig Mizzledorp came up with some startling discoveries in particle physics. I'd like to sing for you some of his equations."

Deep pockets on line two.

Yes, dear, it's a very good pearl for your first try.

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

"You definately have a musical ear"

Petition to ban petitions from outside this market.

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

'That's not cologne. I was just rolling around in our huge cash reserves.'

A butler holds down a tennis net so his master can more easily jump over it to shake the hand of his opponent.

"Yes, you will get a company car. It'll have a big, blue flashing light on the roof!"

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

L. $. G. F. E. S. What has he got that I haven't got?