Oddball Gifts

"The hardest part about school is trying to fit in."

Church for sports worshipers.

'Super Dog'

Great British Eccentrics.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

It's true. Some days I feel like creating a miracle, and some days I just feel like helping a dude catch a touchdown pass.

Wilfried Zaha

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'What's wrong with you?'

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

He was a great dodgeball player. Who's in heaven now. He will be missed.

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

"The election result was predictably unpredictable."

'We don't use that anymore. We've installed 8-Ball software into our computers.'

Believe in Yourself

"For a change of pace, I thought we could play dodge ball instead of phone tag."

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

"The name's Bond. Duane Bond."

Dodge Ball City.

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

Police taking pizzas from crashed pizza delivery bike.

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

Early dodgeball.

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

"On our corporate chain of command, he's the missing link."

"He's the Tiger Woods of dodgeball."

'This is a very competitive kindergarten, son. If you're going to have any chance in dodgeball, you'll need to bulk up on steroids.'

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'