Ball Gifts

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Counting ribs

Football Fans

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Any time is cake o'clock

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

What the Doctor Ordered

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Bowled over again!

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Church for sports worshipers.

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Ice Cream Surgeon

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'