Dodgeball Gifts

'This is a very competitive kindergarten, son. If you're going to have any chance in dodgeball, you'll need to bulk up on steroids.'

Wyatt and Wild Bill chase the bad guys from Dodgeball city!

"For a change of pace, I thought we could play dodge ball instead of phone tag."

'I know you like to wear your sports injuries with pride, but couldn't you at least remove the dodgeball?'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"I'm great at dodgeball, because I don't show up for gym class."

Fido and Fifi

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

'I find the easiest way to expand my vocabulary is to make up words.'

"I've changed my mind son - I've decided that I do want to be a financial burden on you . . !"

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

"The hardest part about school is trying to fit in."

'I am never going to fill out a prom dress.'

"If they find out I'm a flight attendant pretend a heart attack so we can leave early."

"They're everywhere, I don't know what to believe anymore. What is truth, what are facts, what's happening?" "Stop watching the news and if you see a pollster or election candidate...run!"

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

'Joe Louis was right - you can run, but you can't hide.'

"I can't wait that long."

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

Sorry out of numbers.

'We're doomed sire. The barbarians have more dodgeballs, and their throws are more accurate.'

'Is it bad etiquette to bring my universal remote to this party you're dragging me to?'

The vaccine plays hide and seek with the Covid

'Too much to drink at lunch time.'

"Objection, Your Honor!—the prosecution is dodgeballing."

"It's the Neighbourhood Watch... there's a double-glazing salesman approaching..."

'Let's try to fix the problem rather than cast blame. Turn the chart clockwise until I say 'stop'.'

"The sigh read, 'Take A Number And Wait.' It didn't specify where I should wait."

"It took me 15 minutes to shop, and thanks to only one cash register being open, it took me 20 minutes to check out. No wonder why people like shopping online."