Oceanic Office Strategist Gifts

"I thought you were the one who sent jobs overseas."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'I'm sorry but I'm afraid the corporation is going in a different direction.'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

Career opportunities

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Uh-Oh..."

Reverse psychology

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

The rope to success.

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"Listen Herb, once you become the boss and decide who gets a raise, then you can have a raise."

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Managing a complex project in these fractious times requires imagination, the first thing I’d like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."