Ocean Joker Gifts

Jester.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

Man with fake shark fin hat encounters shark with fake human legs.

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'Bad news, sir -- there's a leak in our think tank!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"And best of all, it comes fully loaded!"

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

'All right! Who put my dozing-off during our last meeting on youtube?'

"Remind me again, is it Accounting or IT that handles issues related to online solitaire?"

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Check zombies.

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'