Obsessive Writer Gifts

Richard Graves.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Television Readers.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

Dip Pen

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"The narrative seems contrived."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

"I fell I have a great novel me."

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

"His prose is so muscular."

'On Company Time: A Novel'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'