Obsessive Writer Pillows

Richard Graves.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Television Readers.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

"I try to write a little bit every day."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Dip Pen

Mark Twain and Charles Dickens make a joint appearance on the lecture circuit

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'I can't promise you a best seller but I can give you fifteen minutes of fame.'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Would you mind taking a look at this collection of my poems? Your opinion would mean a lot."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'Be gentle with me, it's my first novel.'

"The narrative seems contrived."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"I fell I have a great novel me."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

'Actually, the entire novel is a metaphor of me getting rich from the movie rights.'

"This X-Ray proves conclusively that you don't have a book in you."

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

'On Company Time: A Novel'