Observatory Researcher Gifts

"We're picking up the birth of a star and the death of a star. The only problem is, it seems to be the same star."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Unmanned drones.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Gone to seed.

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

Phrenological matrimonial bureau

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'I admire your persistence, Melvin, but I'm in love with another woman.'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

"Believe me, Alice, you didn't miss a thing. It wasn't even a party—it was a positioning event."

Oculist.

"You're grinding your teeth again."

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

'There, Farnsworth Still think it was my imagination'

First Contact

"It's 6 o'clock. Do you know what's trending now?"

Skeleton studying a fossil.

"I've been to all his weddings."

"That said, however, let's go see if she's got any roommates."

"I have great powers of observation. All I did in school was watch the clock and stare out the window."

"Doc, I'm secretly worried if you improve my girlfriend's vision prescription she'll dump me when she gets her new glasses!"

"Don't play innocent with me lucky. . . I saw you sniffing around that hussy Irish setter!"

Betty's Ex, Ray, Glasses.

'See that ant, Norm - He is in a world of his own, completely unaware that he is being watched.'