Nursing Home Residency Gifts

Weather channel.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

"Gross."

'Next!'

'Our interns work extremely long hours. The harness will help keep them awake during your operation.'

"Turn your head and cough."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Old Frogs' Home

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

'Come die with me.'

James Bond: Senior Years.

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Gen X in the Golden Years.

"Over here, by the whatchanacalalit...somebody get the anatomy book."

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

'Notice how I stare at the forms like I'm actually reading them... and generally moving very slowly so I'm a little further behind schedule as the day progresses.'

"Now when I was a lad..."

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

"Would you like to make a contribution to the old folks home?" "Sure, when can I bring him in?"

"My bottom went to sleep."

The Curate Visits the Patients

"According to these results, I shouldn't have gone to Med School in Grenada."

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

Blah-blah black sheep, three old bags full.

"Fall prevention!"

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

Practice Makes Perfect