Living In A Nursing Home Gifts

It's 10 PM Do You Know Where Your Parents Are?

"There's just something about a smooth-talking 80-something I can't resist."

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

'Next!'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

Gen X in the Golden Years.

"Now when I was a lad..."

Old Age Pensioners home, "Mrs. Jenkins has head-buttered me!"

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

The Curate Visits the Patients

"My bottom went to sleep."

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"Fall prevention!"

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

Care for the elderly.

"One of the joys of aging is that you can't hear the endless waffle of stupid old farts!"

Elderly care

'The easiest way to stay young is to lie about your age.'

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

''Heaven's Waiting' Retirement Home? . . . 'We care for your parents so you don't have to.''