Living In Nursing Home Gifts

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

'Next!'

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Sometimes I wonder about what our patients have to take."

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

"When they said they were bringing in students I thought they meant MEDICAL students."

To make taking their daily array of medicines more fun, many seniors are using the new Pill-A-Pult.

'Mr. Franklin. What did I tell you about wheelies in the hallway?'

'You're always bragging about what a good actor you are, so why don't you act your age?!'

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

Gen X in the Golden Years.

"You really miss the old grandfather, don't you dear."

"Now when I was a lad..."

Old Age Pensioners home, "Mrs. Jenkins has head-buttered me!"

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

"My bottom went to sleep."

The Curate Visits the Patients

'Batteries not included, it's a real cat.'

"Fall prevention!"

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'

'The easiest way to stay young is to lie about your age.'

'To summarise the tariffs, sympathy is £19/day, empathy £27 and obsequy £34.'

"One of the joys of aging is that you can't hear the endless waffle of stupid old farts!"

Elderly care

Care for the elderly.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

''Heaven's Waiting' Retirement Home? . . . 'We care for your parents so you don't have to.''