Nursing Home Visits Gifts

'Next!'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Barbeque Casualty.

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"She looks just like in your photos."

Being Serenading in Casualty

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Hospital Departments

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

Hospital.

"She's in room 334 but she's only allowed to see people who haven't annoyed her for 15 years."

Weather channel.

"So what brings you in today?"

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Are they called 'x-rays' because the alphabet wasn't finished when they were invented?"

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

'This is taking longer than my stay in hospital!'

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'You sounded better yesterday.'

The Children's Hospital

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

"Will he be okay?"

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'We need another week to do things and another month to undo things.'

'You're looking well.'

'Don't start an argument - you know how you hate intravenous feeding.'

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Second Opinion

'...Do you have an appointment...?'

You've got company.

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

"Cancer patients are on the third floor. This is the psych ward. She wouldn't be here unless she was faking it."