Numerical Illusionist T-Shirts

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'It's Blurred.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

Best Special Effects Award

Houdini's infancy.

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

Book and magician

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'I'll make this rabbit disappear.'

Alien Magician

Why do my wife's lips move when I'm talking.

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

"It's the greatest diet. You eat all you want. Then you let them stretch you with Photoshop."

Badly Drawn. Please Photoshop.

"As a magician, you're good at making things appear and disappear. Would you mind making the files I accidentally deleted reappear?"

'Judging from this loan application, you must have gotten an A in creative writing.'