Distance Illusionist T-Shirts

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

'It's Blurred.'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

Best Special Effects Award

Houdini's infancy.

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

A man with notches in his nose for his glasses.

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

Book and magician

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'I'll make this rabbit disappear.'

Alien Magician

Pop-up neighborhood

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"It's the greatest diet. You eat all you want. Then you let them stretch you with Photoshop."

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

Badly Drawn. Please Photoshop.

Carrying a shadow.

The unexpected end of the journey.

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

'Alright. But it better be good.'

"As a magician, you're good at making things appear and disappear. Would you mind making the files I accidentally deleted reappear?"

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house