Distance Illusionist T-Shirts

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Just ignore it. It's a mirage."

'It's Blurred.'

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Best Special Effects Award

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Houdini's infancy.

"That's in case Mum skypes me."

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

Book and magician

'Those artificial flowers look so lifelike it's unusual.'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'I'll make this rabbit disappear.'

'We find this miniature rock band helps the illusion of a live band experience.'

Alien Magician

Pop-up neighborhood

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'Wow, now there's a talented mime artist; he really looks like he's falling.'

'Ooh, look at Ned. He must be practicing for some sort of shadow puppet competition.'

"It's the greatest diet. You eat all you want. Then you let them stretch you with Photoshop."

Carrying a shadow.

The unexpected end of the journey.

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"For my next trick, I will try to meet a deadline during daylight hours."

'Alright. But it better be good.'

Magician with a pound sign above a 'SOLD' house

"As a magician, you're good at making things appear and disappear. Would you mind making the files I accidentally deleted reappear?"

"Do you need prescription eye holes? Or just eye holes?"