Financial Illusionist T-Shirts

"Can you work a little magic with these figures? In fact, can you make them disappear?"

'Judging from this loan application, you must have gotten an A in creative writing.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

School of Wizardry and Creative Accounting.

Propping up a profits chart.

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

Since this is a smoke-free building, we'll have to fool the shareholders with mirrors alone.

"Here's a free tip for you, kid: learn how to brood. Most people in the world mistake it for depth."

Grab your helmet, Jenkins – Coach just called the trick play.

It shows off your astigmatism very nicely.

' I earn a six-figure income, if you count those two little numbers after the decimal point.'

"I love the way you hide profits where only I can see them."

"And now, out of thin air, I present to you the very numbers you were hoping to see."

'Wow, it's just like the photo.'

"It's simple, really. Just figure out what the honorable thing to do is – and make it look like we did it."

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

'I'm sorry. The possibility that you may have won $10 million in the sweepstakes won't do as collateral.'

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

Bert always found plenty of rubbish for his compost bin

"If the goat's giblets float to the top...about £350,000."

"The accountant is here to see you Mr Smith."

'We took a serious hit in commodities when Jack here decided to put our money into magic beans.'

"It's a simple recipe. Add politics to economics, you get tax law."

"If you want to win this case, you're going to need a magician."

Magic Show.