Number-crunching Chefs Gifts

Maths books in the cooking section of a library.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Chez Nous Menu

Granny with balanced pie chart

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'I wish I hadn't coloured in all that bread, now.'

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

Beef Stew.

French bread

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

Mozart eating noodles.

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'You want a pizza with everything? -- Do you comprehend the philosophical implications of that?

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

'I'm sorry he's your cousin. Could we get a little tartar sauce with the fish?'

Baker

Pie Shoppe and Sweeny Todd's barber shop.

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'Do you have any books by writers?'

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom or night will stop Ed from overcooking the fish."

'But how could the witch fit Hansel into her microwave?'

'I dabble in stocks all the time. Beef, chicken, and vegetable.'

Dr. Frankenstein: 'Heyyyy, What THE...?!'

'Get over it. Not all restaurants offer toy prizes.'

The entrées were $30 each. The extra $15 is for all that damn fresh pepper you made me grind!

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'

Sushi For Men...