Number-crunching Accountants Gifts

'Your tax return is okay. I just couldn't believe you teachers made so little for so much work.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Bertrand Russell

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

Accountants around the campfire.

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

Room for Error

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

ACcountants Lunch

Hoping to soften its image, the IRS devises the singing audit-gram.

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

Extreme Accounting!

Revenue Canada gift shop.

"Ted wants to bring the fan back into accounting"

"Thanks for saving our business again accountancy man."

'I know that numbers do lie since I happen to work for the IRS.'

'As I'm sure you all remember, right here is when we all stopped caring!'

'We have a problem!'

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'

"Maybe you should have hired an accountant to check your return twice."

'All these charitable contributions- You think you can take care of poor people better than the Government can, do you?'

I think we've got the numbers right we just don't know which ones to use... Or what order to put them in.

"Math is not my strong suit. That said, I would suggest investing 30% in stocks, 40% in bonds and 40% in previous metals."

'I thought you said you were creative.'

"And some people think accountancy is boring."

'My client pleads not guilty. His creative accounting software made him do it.'