Nudist Camp Participant Gifts

'Fancy a game of dress poker tonight darlin'?'

"Privates Beach"

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

"I've got pride but no shame."

False Modesty: Naked sunbathing woman wears a veil.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'I've never done this before.'

'Don't tell anybody, but I'm not wearing a robe.'

Man at Nudist beach, watches a naked Punch & Judy show.

Success often means distracting the competition.

'Nothing is what it seems down here. Most people are nudist speleologists, but I lobby for the pharmaceutical industry.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

'I'm all for answering the call of the wild, but Bill really takes it to the extreme!'

'It's great that you get a boost in productivity from working in the nude, Paul, but I need you to stop borrowing my chair.'

Naked Morris Dancers.

'... So then, I dropped out of university and hooked up with this nudist colony.'

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

"If you get nervous up here, just picture everyone in the audience wearing clothes!"

Nudist Beach: Beautiful PeopleEveryone else.

'I know you burn easily, Howard, but you look ridiculous walking around with that condom on!'

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

'Yes,I know this isn't a nudist beach but my luggage is still at Heathrow!'

"Why yes. My husband does work in the construction industry! How on earth did you guess?"

"I told him nudism in space is a bad idea!"

'Why do you always insist on a NATURIST holiday?'

'I've got nothing to wear!'

"How on earth do you keep your cool with all this naked flesh around?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they're only easing restrictions on face masks."

"It won't be much of a holiday for me, did you forget I'm a stripper?"

"I can't say I'm all that surprised."

'Fancy a game of strip poker?'

Nudist Beach for people who shouldn't even think of being nude in public.

'Geez Neville, 2 million years of evolution and look what you've achieved... you're a nudist!'

'Do you ever have those dreams where you're walking around fully clothed?'

Hopes: We're gonna need a bigger emotional toolbox!