Novelty Toy Lover T-Shirts

'Can I have a glass of water?'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Santa Claus's Mail

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

That one has all the batteries!

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

Slinky Cow World

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

One!

Childlike love

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Inaction Figure

"I told you he'd enjoy that more than a Gameboy."

Toys

Remote Control Duck

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"Call me!"

Help me!

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.