Toy Review Lover T-Shirts

Attention all parents of small toddlers

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Santa Claus's Mail

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

That one has all the batteries!

The Rubber Ball Company

"That'll be five bucks."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Rocking Horse

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

Slinky Cow World

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"It's his emotional support animal."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Teddy and friends.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

One!

Childlike love

What can I play?

Jack in the box on strike.

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Remote Control Duck

Inaction Figure

Help me!