Novelty Lovers T-Shirts

"Gentlemen, our troubles are over, this is Tony 'The Torch' Barbella"

Lost glasses,

Shampoo - New Flick In The Eye Cap

Toilet Graduation

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Crane Game. Ball Game.

'Choose, Fenster

It's great for pulling the birds!

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"Call me!"

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

'Now what?!'

Lord Byron

"It's a novel about interest rates."

Barry Unsworth

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

Mr. Merdle becomes a borrower

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

It's Oog's latest invention — the 'thumb-hitter.'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

The old fashioned, never say die author: 'All right, if they're remaindered, I'll sign the remainders.'