Novelty Enthusiasts T-Shirts

Toilet Paper

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Bathroom Fairy

My Literary Influences

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

It's great for pulling the birds!

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Voltaire

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Library

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block