Novelty Aficionados T-Shirts

Stores of Mystery

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Silence of the Chickens...

Gay Times...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Iris Murdoch

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Treasure Island Book.

Bathroom Fairy

It's great for pulling the birds!

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

My Literary Influences

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block