Novelty Aficionados T-Shirts

Stores of Mystery

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

Gay Times...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Treasure Island Book.

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Fyodor Dostoevsky

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

My Literary Influences

Bathroom Fairy

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'Is this your first book launch?'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'