Novelty Tool Collector Pillows

The Hammer

Clown on bike.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Lavatory Waterfall

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'These new metal detectors are great!'

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'And here's the toolkit.'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"