Novelty Tool Collector T-Shirts

The Hammer

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Clown on bike.

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

Lavatory Waterfall

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event