Artistic Tool Collector T-Shirts

'Helen! Have you seen my t-square?'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

The Hammer

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Acme Slide Rules: 'We'll be here and ready, when the current electronic gadgetry fad fades!'

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

Handy-lion

"You've not used a chainsaw before have you?"

"Something tells me this isn't the 'Good Cop'."

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'