Novelty Tool Collectors T-Shirts

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

Clown on bike.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Hay Rides $10

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

A crab with a utility knife claw

The Hammer

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Lavatory Waterfall

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'