Novelty Tool Collectors Pillows

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

Clown on bike.

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"