Vintage Tool Collector Pillows

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Early Colour TV

The original paperless office

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

The Hammer

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Pre-Television Man Caves

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

JET (Part I)

"There's lots of things in my life I absolutely needed to put in, and now there's lots of things in my life I absolutely need to get out."

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

Old-fashioned computer