Collecting Tools Pillows

'A screwdriver for my husband? No - for my husband, I'd prefer rat poison.'

Republican Emergency

"Swiss Navy Knife."

Getting Hammered.

A Utility Knife.

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

'Oooops.'

Reindeer with swiss army knife for antlers

"No, I'm not going to serve you a drink! Can't you see that this is a crowbar?"

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

The Hammer

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'