Collecting Tools Pillows

'A screwdriver for my husband? No - for my husband, I'd prefer rat poison.'

Republican Emergency

"Swiss Navy Knife."

Oh, ho ... Here comes that boring guy!

Campaign. And now I'd like to introduce the other half of the ticket! That's very risky. He's running with scissors.

Getting Hammered.

A Utility Knife.

'Another invention? -- You are SUCH a geek!'

'Oooops.'

Reindeer with swiss army knife for antlers

"No, I'm not going to serve you a drink! Can't you see that this is a crowbar?"

"But seriously do you think my eclectic knowledge of the history of the development of the claw hammer makes me more of a sex magnet?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

The Hammer

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"If I can't use a calculator, may I use my Dad's old slide-rule?"

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.