Novelty Ringtone Collector Pillows

"It's not my cow bell. It's my new ringtone."

Clown on bike.

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Interesting cellphone ringer you have. Place it on my desk and step back."

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

House sale.

Woman's T-Shirt says 'Baby', Man's says '35 Lbs. Ugly Fat'.

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Joke Shop product - Not Funny After 10 Sept 87

Quasimodo's Ringtone.

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Monkey Business

Med School Mascots.