Quirky Ringtone Collector Pillows

'No you do a great job. I'm letting you go because I don't like your cell phone ringtone.'

"My ringtone is the song, 'Stayin' Alive.' In my business, you have to have a sense of humor."

"Apparently, nobody thinks my 'coughing' ringtone is funny."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Duck Hunt

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Inflating Boobs.

Dog selling toilet water on front lawn

"Things are looking up!"

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."