Quirky Phone Collector Pillows

'I'm sorry, but you've reached the wrong number.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Try his land line.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Cat hunting in a cuckoo clock.

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

'Here comes Mr. 'Smarter-then-you'.'

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Who Typexed out the grass?

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

Migrating Cuckoo Clock

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

Bell invents the telephone.

"Grandma, somebody wants to talk to you, but I can't get your phone off this cord."

'No you do a great job. I'm letting you go because I don't like your cell phone ringtone.'

"I've traveled billions of light-years and visited countless planets. Earth is the only place I can't get a signal."

"In the olden days, people used payphones. Beats me how they took selfies!"

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

Valentines for Things

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Happy birthday to you!

Investments: New Investors Get Free Cell Phone With Ringtone 'We're in the Money'.

"No, you didn't wake me. I always sound like this."

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

'I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!'

Happy Xmas