Novelty Phone Number Collector Pillows

Offer you can't refuse

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Clown on bike.

Raincloud Umbrella

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

The Hammer

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"Roadkill cookies"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"Call me!"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.