Novelty Tech User Pillows

Priest's computer screen reads: 'e-confession. Please type 10 Hail Marys ... and no cut'n'paste ...'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Useless add-ons.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Hay Rides $10

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Mohammad's motors

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"