Novelty Gadget Lover Pillows

"This is programmed with the answers to 500 popular essay questions."

Some Cricket Novelties.

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Haircuts

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'This is suppose to be progress.'

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"This isn't Dublin. It's not even Ireland. Repeat after me, dear: 'I'll never buy a second-hand sat nav as a bargain again.'"

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.