Novelty Creator Pillows

The Great Chemical Novel.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Useless add-ons.

Hay Rides $10

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Mohammad's motors

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.