Novelty Necktie Collector Pillows

Clown on bike.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Hay Rides $10

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

Lavatory Waterfall

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Roadkill cookies"

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'