Novelty Tie Collector Pillows

'Well, I'll be no one else thinks it's funny.'

'Honey? I'm having second thoughts about the tie.'

Clown on bike.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

Hay Rides $10

"1-1"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Lavatory Waterfall

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.