Necktie Collector Pillows

"Other men manage to confine whimsy to their boxers."

When God compliments your tie, just go with it.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

Special offer on snakeskin ties.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"1-1"

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"It's bedtime, Roger. Loosen your tie."

Operation Father's Day

'Fortunately I'm a big guy.'

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Ever since I said I liked creative ties, things have gotten out of hand around here."

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

'At least we don't have to worry about getting those as gifts.'

Robin Day.

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Nice tie, Al - hand it over."

'This convention lacks just one thing...name tags.'

Antiques/Collectible/Bric-A-Brac/Garbage.

'Herbie dear, why can't you ever forget the office?!'

"Whose tie?"

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"