Novelty Necktie Collector T-Shirts

I've heard of a heat-seeking missile, but … a beer-seeking necktie?

Clown on bike.

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

Cat Tie

"But don't let my wacky tie fool you. We actually take business very seriously around here."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Recalculating route..."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

Fossil record player.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Lavatory Waterfall

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"Roadkill cookies"

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

"I'm a stay-at-work dad."

The origin of the Hula Hoop.

A man trying to decide which tie he should put on.